Workplace Dynamics Fans Mugs

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

It come's to my attention that you have been doing the work of two men.

"This is a company which is going places...."

"Next on the agenda: How can we crush workers' spirit, while appearing to care?"

"It's time for your performance review where I damn you with faint praise."

"'Autonomy' is the new BUZZ word! We have to unleash our staff. Professionals like you need to be free to use your own judgement, manage your own workloads...use your initiative."

"It's late. I am not getting into another heated discussion with you."

'Be a sweetie and get me a cup of coffee!'

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

These young people need everything spelled out to them! I miss the old days, when a wink was a wink, and a nod was a nod.

"You're probably wondering why I called you. It's because I accidentally butt dialed you."

'Hank here brings 10 years of top sales experience to our company so let's all try to make him feel welcome while he makes you all look bad...'

Group of people.

Sales Secretary

'Hello. Law offices of Anderson, Avery, Baer, Barton, Baston, Caggly, Cooper ... drat, who comes after Cooper?'

"So...what's the most important thing about working at Auto y Rod Inc.?"

Corporate Scapegoat of the Month (Poster hanging on company hallway)

Miss Wilkins, I need you to pop in and hang up my phone for me again.

Above Reproach.

'I need to hire more people. I can't keep making all of these mistakes.'

"Aw... I'm really sorry you're bored Jenkins. I wonder if I can rekindle your interest with some of this work you should be doing?"

"In this office I'm the dog and you are the sheep! When I bark, you move!"

'Keep up the good work, Simmons and we might just take the wheels off.'

"It's because her boss has forgotten her birthday."

'If you know what is good for you, you'll let me decide what is good for you.'

'I love men in uniformity.'

"Stop signing memos with your initials, no-one is taking them seriously."

'In my day, it was 50% soldiers and 50% workers... Now it is 50% soldiers, 20% managers, 20% admin and only 10% workers...'

Cubicles, Execs And Employees Growing More Similar To Bees

'How do you expect me to remember. . . when every year you look younger?'