Workplace Drama Lover Pillows

"We’ve just received the latest management update on how to persecute whistleblowers."

"Geoffrey always was a bit of a loose cannon.."

'The staff is getting slack Simkins - mention the word 'redundancy'.'

"I thought you were a female."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

'We're very proud of you, Jenkins. Keep up the good work.'

"It's a wonderful partner's desk-but we think they didn't get along."

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

"Anyone else see weaknesses in my report?"

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

'I'll be a little late with those reports, sir -- my desk organizer crashed.'

"Ziegler, I'm transferring you out of the energy commission!"

"Hate to see you leave—you were my favorite puppet."

Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

"After being shorted on his bonus, Earl the maintenance man decided to remove all the toilet paper from the executive washrooms."

'I solved the union problem. I made everyone management!'

"You're not the 'Yes Man' you used to be, Smilby."

"Bentley, I don't care if you are my heir apparent. Stop peeking in here fifty times a day!"

Worldwide Global Conglomerate, Takeover Division: 'FRIENDLY',,,'HOSTILE',

"It's the never-ending struggle between the State Department and the Department of Defense."

"Don't even think about it."

'Here's a job that sounds just like mine, oh-oh, it is mine.'

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

'Could I call you back, I'm right in the middle of interviews.'

"...type yourself a letter of apology for what I did at the office party last night."

See? This is precisely why we don't encourage office romances.

'I'll give you this, Henderson - you're no worse than anyone else.'

'Hoskins, I'd like to congratulate you on your leadership initiative... and if I didn't feel threatened, I'd keep you on.'