Workplace Drama Lover Pillows

"We’ve just received the latest management update on how to persecute whistleblowers."

"Geoffrey always was a bit of a loose cannon.."

'The staff is getting slack Simkins - mention the word 'redundancy'.'

"I thought you were a female."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

'We're very proud of you, Jenkins. Keep up the good work.'

"Anyone else see weaknesses in my report?"

"It's a wonderful partner's desk-but we think they didn't get along."

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

'I'll be a little late with those reports, sir -- my desk organizer crashed.'

"Hate to see you leave—you were my favorite puppet."

"Ziegler, I'm transferring you out of the energy commission!"

Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.

"After being shorted on his bonus, Earl the maintenance man decided to remove all the toilet paper from the executive washrooms."

'I solved the union problem. I made everyone management!'

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

"You're not the 'Yes Man' you used to be, Smilby."

"Bentley, I don't care if you are my heir apparent. Stop peeking in here fifty times a day!"

"Don't even think about it."

"It's the never-ending struggle between the State Department and the Department of Defense."

'Here's a job that sounds just like mine, oh-oh, it is mine.'

Worldwide Global Conglomerate, Takeover Division: 'FRIENDLY',,,'HOSTILE',

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

"...type yourself a letter of apology for what I did at the office party last night."

'Could I call you back, I'm right in the middle of interviews.'

See? This is precisely why we don't encourage office romances.