Workday Warrior T-Shirts

'Scott...(argh)...would you help me,please!...(argh)...I'm having trouble...(argh)...getting my brain into gear!'

"Lunchward ho!"

"Note to self: You are one helluva guy. Can't wait to catch up with you after work!"

'At 11:00 you'll be putting your right hand in. At 11:01 you'll take it out, put it back in and at 11:02, shake it all about...'

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

Popping 'IN' to work at 9am, sneaking 'OUT' at 5pm

"I hope your day is going bad."

I can always tell when it's near 5 o clock. Pritkin gets that Happy HOur look in his eyes.

'It's not the coming to work that bothers me...it's those eight hours after I get here!'

'Those guys who don't commute really annoy me.'

'Has he been on the phone all morning? No, he stopped an hour ago to change ears.'

Do not feed the clerks.

'Sleeping through Monday is the coward's way out!'

'I thought you wanted to stop early today Ron!'

"Damn! I keep waking up in the middle of the day."

"What time do I pick you up?"

"The meeting's over but it's so close to the end of the day. Let's just use our collective inertia and run out the clock."

"Phew - It's hell out there!"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

Computer Room.

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

37 years in the same position.

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

Low-Energy Drinks

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'