Work Promotion Pillows

Whack-a-mole CEO.

'We are giving out bonuses for no sane reason.'

'Brilliant job, Rafferty. Advance two cubicles!'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'Abramowitz and Lowenstein, you've certainly earned this, but unfortunately we don't have enough room on the letterhead... Smith, congratulations!'

"Being a disruptive company does not mean interrupting and making sarcastic remarks during meetings."

The best financial decision I ever made.

"Would you pretend to be my people when we meet Hartnett's people?"

"You'll get an office, a pay increase and a set of bad nicknames from your colleagues."

'We'll go to lunch after I congratulate the winners of our company fitness program.'

Minion of the month

'I'm told he has insufficient assets to cover a reality check.'

"It's quite a feather in your cap, Beavis. What's it for?"

'Now that our companies have merged and we're all sleeping in the same bed so to speak...I suggest we do just that!'

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

The rat race

'I'm calling you out, account to account.'

'We're very proud of you, Jenkins. Keep up the good work.'

'I had a great day at work! - They moved me up in the pecking order!'

"Putting a trampoline in the breakroom to inspire fitness wasn't one of my best ideas."

"You again? Great! I love watching people tilt at windmills."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Where your mind & battle are los

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

Killer Executive Suits.

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....