Work History Collector T-Shirts

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

The only way to see the world is to see the world

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Tom, I’d like you to meet Chris. Chris is better than you."

Heading off with a packed bag

"So many take-overs and mergers, nobody remembers who he was."

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

A boy with a camera

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill?

'I do good work... unfortunately, I don't do it here.'

"We're a family here and you'll be like a son to me - illegitimate, of course."

'I'm fired, am I -- What's that supposed to mean?'

"Well, now we've seen it."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

"I've worked for the company for 40 years..."

News of the Day - Savings Bank.

"Oh, no! My bucket list!"

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

Been there. Done that. (Man stands between two doors.)

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"I wonder what this was for."

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

"This house has been in my family for a considerable period of time."