Work Culture Analyst T-Shirts

Coffee/Tea/Performance Enhancing Drugs.

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Staff support"

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

Do Not Resuscitate

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Bo're'droom

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"I hate performance review season."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

'Does your mother know you keep a messy office?'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

'I give this one about three months...'

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."