Witty Punster T-Shirts

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Kissing Game

Bitter End

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

'Jurassic Pork.'

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

Dogs life

K9 Literati

'Out, damned Spot.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"I have such strong feelers for you."

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Mystery of the Poets

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

2B or not 2B

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

Optometrist Humor

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

Alternative Dickens: Oliver, having received more, requests a doggy bag.

"Norman is an island."

'I think therefore I ham.'

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

Hamlet.

Lit. Exam. I carefully read "Ulysses," "Dubliners" and "Finnegans Wake," but I was kicked out by the teacher for calling the exam a "multiple-Joyce" test.

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'