Winter Storyteller Pillows

Rude Snowpeople

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”

Silhouette hawk swooping down to catch a silhouette rabbit.

Ooooh! Someone got a carrot job! Someone got a carrot job!

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

Snowman of the Apes

Filming Christmas

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

"By God, Man! Yes!! This is the stuff we're looking for!"

The Nanuit Have 2,027 Words For Snow, But, After Awhile, They Just Talk About Something Else...

"I love this time of year."

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

A feminist Christmas.

"Hello, Number 6!"

Knight before Christmas

A Salmon Lie

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

"Well, I deal with death and carrion every day: Laughing is a therapeutic way of avoiding depression..."

There's no place like Ho-Ho-Home

'Whoa! Must have snowed two feet last night.'

Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

'My brother got all the glory. For me it was Randolph with your nose so pink, you really make my sleigh team stink.'

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

He'll never melt. I made him from fast food milkshakes.

'Son, you're old enough now to know, there's no such thing as Christmas.'

"You've got to learn to let go."

'While our cases were soaking up the sun over there we were soaking up the rain over here!'

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."