Wine Humor Appreciators Prints

You haven't aged a day! That's a compliment when said to a person and an insult when said to a bottle of wine.

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

Opening the Barrel

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

A high wire act walks over to a bottle of wine.

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

"I picked this one up in France while my wife had her hip replaced."

"Tell me more about your problem - I understand it's drink related."

"Nope, no need to smell the cork."

"Do you have a wine that tastes like beer?"

"Would sir like to try the wine. . . ?"

"At our age I figure we only have two taste buds left. One for vodka and one for wine."

"It's disappointing, but if that's the biggest you've got ..."

'Sir has made the most discerning choice to wash it down with Drain Glug.'

'I noticed your wine list only has reds and whites. Don't you have any yellow wines?'

'You opened it five hours ago. If it breathes any more, it's going to hyperventilate.'

"A cheeky little wine, would you agree?"

"Would you like an ice bucket with your Champagne?"

'For future reference, just the bottle goes in the chiller.'

Waiter watering down wine

"A whino!"

'How wonderful, I've always wanted to meet a connoisseur of wines costing under £4.99 a bottle.'

'At home, he's my husband, here; he's my dump bucket.'

'How come your oldest vintage is on the top shelf?' 'I can't reach up there!'

'Mmm...it's got a good nose on it.'

"He's a wino-saur."

'You know, our collection of bottle bags is worth more than our collection of wines.'

Man offering a drink to a drowning man

Don't confuse me with justice, counselor. Justice is blind. I'm just blind drunk.