Whip-smart Negotiator T-Shirts

"Another day in paradise."

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

'Maybe we should sign him before the MVP award is announced.'

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

'Just sign your approval for the heliport and we can both go about our business.'

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

'I'm afraid I can't do business with you, Miss Carstairs -- you're just too damned cute.'

"It's a note from teacher. She wants to trade the apple I gave her for my chocolate fudge brownie."

"I'm not eating candy before dinner. I'm skipping dinner."

'I'll trade you my topsoil for your apple.'

"If you promise to be very careful, Mommy will let you carry the baguettes."

"Dad, I want another dog for my birthday." "NO." "OK. I want a stripper girlfriend for my birthday." "What kind of dog do you want."

"Mostly Mozart, nothing. It's all Mozart or no Mozart."

'Okay, Mum said no, but if we can get to Dad before she has time to brief him, we could still turn this into a yes.'

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'

"I'll help you find where you buried your bones, but I get a 5% finder's fee."

'I can't make this decision for you. Let greed be your guide.'

'This is your list for Santa?? A corvette? A 50' TV?. . . If you don't become an ambulance chasing lawyer. . . you've missed your calling.'

"We always lose these staring contests. Their top negotiator has no eyelids!"

"I'll read you a story but on condition that you convert and download my vinyl record collection onto this blasted thing."

"I guess this is about as hostile as we can make this takeover."

'I'm going for a plea bargain. Right now, I'm accused of being a lazy slug. But if I plead guilty, I might get it reduced to the lesser charge of malingering.'

'If you raise my allowance, I'll move you up a few places on my links page.'