Whimsical Medical Interests Pillows

With a hindsight exam result of 20/40, Harold hoped the new monocle would be less irritating than the last one.

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Happy Birthday to you.

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

'Time for your pills.'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

'Long shift?'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"Gross."

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

"It's a fairy simple procedure. We just take out the dead ones and put in two new ones."

"Turn your head and cough."

Why you shouldn't date an anesthesiologist.

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

'I think we should cut back on the tranquilizers.'

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"No, your tonsils are fine. It's all the rest of you that's knackered!"

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

Mobile Operations Stand.

"Darn it, lost another swab."

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

'It's your four basic food groups.'