Whimsical Medical Interests Pillows

With a hindsight exam result of 20/40, Harold hoped the new monocle would be less irritating than the last one.

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

Happy Birthday to you.

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'Time for your pills.'

"Gross."

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

Operating Room Humor. Why are anesthesiologists assumed to be honest? Because numb-ers don't lie!

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

'Long shift?'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

"It's a fairy simple procedure. We just take out the dead ones and put in two new ones."

"Turn your head and cough."

Why you shouldn't date an anesthesiologist.

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

"No, your tonsils are fine. It's all the rest of you that's knackered!"

"Darn it, lost another swab."

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'I think we should cut back on the tranquilizers.'

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

Mobile Operations Stand.

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'