Wellness Warrior T-Shirts

"Medicine is giving the eat-drink-and-be-merry model another look."

"It all began with trying to measure project outcomes."

"You've been fooling around with alternative medicines, haven't you?"

Injured heart.

'...instead of giving him morphine for his kidney stones, they are testing the healing power of laughter.'

'Let's ease into this -- I want you to try fasting between meals.'

'The secret to happiness is serotonin... Now available for $29.95 in this vitamin supplement which I endorse.'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

"You made that diagnosis just to be mean."

"Looks like they've simplified the nutritional information."

Exercising your heart.

'You're in extreme danger because you eat too much. . .'

"And how does that make you feel about your father?"

'He's our team doctor, athletic trainer, chiropractor and psychiatrist all rolled in one.'

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

"We have heard your demand for preventive health care. These things will now be available in the soda machines."

Shrinks in heaven

'It's anxiety. Don't worry, vitamin B happy.'

'You've got to stop living in the past.'

"I'm searching for a happy medium between sitting on a mountain top and eating cheese fries."

"I've warned you about the dangers of a too sedentary lifestyle!"

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"I eat a head of garlic each day and have never had a problem social distancing."

'Your last annual check up was eleven years ago.'

'Eat a balanced diet, walk daily and make prudent investments.'

"I'm searching for some fancy terminology I can use to justify why I'm such a complete bitch."

'Life was moving along at a nice, steady pace, then I hit middle age and my life hot-flashed before my eyes!'

"It's your choice, medicate or meditate?"

'Buy a bottle of these vitamins. If you're strong enough to get the lid off, don't take them.'

Doctor to smiling patient: 'Good news. Your attitude check came back positive.'

'I believe one of the doctors here practices alternative medicine.'

Over eating...don't do it.

Enormous obesity report.

'Mom, do I have to hold my plank through desert, too?'

'All this do or don't take Aspirin, it's giving me headaches,doctor!'