Wedding Woe Watcher Pillows

'We can't get a divorce... we haven't paid for the wedding.'

Marriage least expected to last...

This is forever... till death do us part...

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"Whoa! Was that today?"

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

She never could tell when he was being sarcastic.

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

"It will be a short service. We’re getting married during half-time."

'I wish you'd told me your brother worked for the Mirror before we got him to do the wedding pictures.'

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

Marriage Ceremony

"What do you mean 'no way'?"

"It isn't always all about you, Cindy."

'He heard the question, Reverend. He's sleeping on it.'

'I know we had some good time together, Muriel, but a permanent relationship is out.'

'You know I hate weddings - they remind me that I went through one!'

Things one would rather have left unsaid - 'I will!'

"And do you promise to love, honour, and give me all your personal information that I can pass on to third parties..."

Stay Tuned

"You may now begin venting about each other's wedding-prep behavior."

"Lookin' good...I haven't eaten in three months!"

'What will it cost me for you to elope?'

"Whoa! That's a little clingy."

'What do you mean, 'your bachelor party hasn't finished yet'?'

'I've left him, Daddy - The pervert tried to book me into a hotel with him.'

'Oh, so when you said wear a...Ok, now I get it.'

"And do you John, despite the mountain of statistical evidence showing it ain't gonna happen, promise to stick by your woman?"

'She found him through an ad in one of those kinky papers.'

"How much worse?"

'The groom called to say he can't marry you today. He totally forgot he was in a pool tournament this weekend.'

"No, Matt, it wouldn’t be ‘dope’ if you rapped your wedding vows!"