Wedding Woe Watcher Pillows

'We can't get a divorce... we haven't paid for the wedding.'

Marriage least expected to last...

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

This is forever... till death do us part...

"Whoa! Was that today?"

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

She never could tell when he was being sarcastic.

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

'I wish you'd told me your brother worked for the Mirror before we got him to do the wedding pictures.'

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

"It will be a short service. We’re getting married during half-time."

'What do you mean - you want a white wedding?'

'He heard the question, Reverend. He's sleeping on it.'

'I know we had some good time together, Muriel, but a permanent relationship is out.'

Marriage Ceremony

"What do you mean 'no way'?"

"It isn't always all about you, Cindy."

'It will be a big wedding, I invited all 2679 of my facebook friends,'

Things one would rather have left unsaid - 'I will!'

"You may now begin venting about each other's wedding-prep behavior."

Stay Tuned

'You know I hate weddings - they remind me that I went through one!'

"And do you promise to love, honour, and give me all your personal information that I can pass on to third parties..."

'What will it cost me for you to elope?'

"Whoa! That's a little clingy."

"Lookin' good...I haven't eaten in three months!"

'Oh, so when you said wear a...Ok, now I get it.'

'She found him through an ad in one of those kinky papers.'

"And do you John, despite the mountain of statistical evidence showing it ain't gonna happen, promise to stick by your woman?"

'What do you mean, 'your bachelor party hasn't finished yet'?'

'I've left him, Daddy - The pervert tried to book me into a hotel with him.'

I love you, Morty, and I do want to get married. I'm just a little worried. What if I feel trapped? What if we fight, or one of us changes, or aliens attack? Aliens? And there's only enough canned food for one of us! Holy commitment phobia.

"How much worse?"

'The groom called to say he can't marry you today. He totally forgot he was in a pool tournament this weekend.'