Wedding Humorists T-Shirts

Australian wedding, sheep gesturing, 'If there's anybody here who knows why these two should not be wed...'

"I should've done this years ago. All the good ones got taken."

Bad wedding

A Typical Australian Wedding.

'You're not having second thoughts, are you?'

"Horace, what are we doing on the same cloud? Our vows said 'till death do us part.'"

"I made my lawyer, best man. That way he can make sure I don't get too generous with my vows."

"...and do you, John, give up your smug air of bemused detachment for the demands of marriage?"

Some societies perform deranged marriages

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'He does.'

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

"Do you think someday we'll look back on this and laugh?"