Wedding Day Dramatists T-Shirts

'Last seen running away from St. Paul's Church...'

"I'd like you to be the co-star in the melodrama that is life."

The Perfect Foil

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'...and could you refill the vinegar - Genius here thinks it's the wine.'

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

'After you with the camouflage.'

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

Alarming symptoms after eating boiled beef and gooseberry pie

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"

"Wait. Let it breathe."

"It's a profit and loss statement. Read it with gusto!"

"I just wanted you to hear it from me first, before you read it in the sky."

"Do you, Paul Bergerson, take this traffic ticket..."

"I will avenge the underdone fish that ruined my dinner if it's the last thing I ever do."

'This is my new husband Gregory -- I don't quite have all the bugs out of him yet.'

'For those who the internet hath brought together, let no man put asunder...'

Great coaching is about knowing how to give and when to play feedback...

'How is the Peking Duck prepared?' 'I'll break it to her gently.'

'One is the videographer and the other is my lawyer.'

"I'll consider your proposal, but first I need a second opinion from your ex-wife."

Tinguely, Jean. Homage to the Dinner Party Mother Spent Months Preparing. Performance Piece. 1926.

'I smell romance! This is his seventh blanket-bath. He only came in for an 'in-growing toe-nail' removal operation, yesterday!'

'We believe in resolving a problem as soon as it arises.'

Lady with an inflatable dinner date.

'What's the matter, baby? . . . Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is.'

'Look out kids, here comes Basil Rathbone.'

"Dad, not now!"

'Some day, son, all of this will be your ex-wife's.'

Wedding pictures.

'It was late, very late, but the peas had touched the mash potatoes, and only dawn could lift the curse.'

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'