Water Comedian Pillows

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

Guide fish.

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'

Peter Benchley's New Book Fish!

Lady to angler whose line is snagged: 'You would manage to get your line caught in the one tree in this entire massive lake.'

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Shark Chum

Fish Farm.

"We live in the desert. What did you think I meant when I said it'd be a nice day to go boating?"

"Here he comes! Don't move."

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

How Lawyers Evolved.

Need to turn up heat(fish crowd heater in aquirium).

Fish: 'WHOA,Gesundheit!' / A Fish has sneezed out all of his scales

'You see these things, you don't bite them, you suck them out...'

'I wonder why goldfish are gold.' - 'So they don't rust.'

A Classic Goldfish Game.

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

Acme Coffee Co.

'I'm a Pisces.'

No petting in the pool!

"That shampoo was delicious!"

'Notice to all employees...there is altogether too much goofing off on company time.'

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'