Waiting Room Humorist T-Shirts

"No, I'm not here to see the doctor- just the magazines."

'The doctor buys old magazines and passes the savings on to you.'

"Doctor Skidmore is taking a break and he wants that magazine you're reading."

Dr. Kessler will be with you shortly. Please water the plants and have a seat.

"His first out-of-body experience."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"WHich one is mine?"

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

Downloading Pregnancy

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

Smoke and mirrors.

Saline Drip Sommelier.

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

"Gross."

"The patient in 12-C needs comforting."

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.