Vitamin Devotee Pillows

'I exercised all my life. Took my vitamins, watched my diet, and where did it get me? A major illness at one hundred and four.'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

Thomas Hardy

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'Bigley, you're over-training!'

'As soon as I get a small tattoo, I'm going to take up yoga.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'I followed you advice for losing weight....i got naked and stood in front of a mirror...they threw me out of the restaurant.'

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

Scot holding a heart.

Olympic Torch Training

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

'…and I want you to limit yourself to 3 feeding frenzies a day.'

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

"This is the 'carboniferous' age and we're here in the 'Carbs-Are-Really-Bad-For-Us' Age."

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

'Apparently, you've purchased another piece of exercise equipment. I think it's time I organised an intervention.'

Snowman with big carrot nose to one with small carrot nose: 'I'd increase your beta carotene.'

What did you think happens to all those vitamins that roll beneath the fridge?

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

"I'm right off my quinoa doc."

Obesity Report

"Oprah is definite, Barnes and Noble is giving you front windows, and Norman Mailer has agreed to a feud."