Virtual Meetup Fan Pillows

"Hi. My name is Chris and I'm a 'rubbing alcoholic.'"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

"Teleconferencing makes it just like they're in the room with us - things are unclear and difficult to understand."

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'Anyone who opposes the plan I'm about to propose please signify by saying 'I resign.''

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'Congratulations, Yomp - we're giving you a bigger carrot!'

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

Zoom Christmas

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

Responsibility and duties

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

'It makes conferences so much cheaper, no travel costs and we only need to buy our own drinks!'

Conference Pears

"Next meeting back to paper. Everyone missed doodle."

"Unlike other companies, we are going to take the high road through this rough time, even if, at some point, we're obliged to raid the employee pension fund! Is everybody clear on that?"

"The days of 'herding cats' are over: my friends and I meet through video-conferencing now..."

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

'I meet therefore I MANAGE.'

Dog Park Zoom

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

"Not the most impressive strategic plan I've ever seen."

'Uh, yeah, the picture resolution is great.'

'Who's pumped about this meeting?!'

The Sky Is The Limit

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

"But rather than me just sitting here talking, why don't we watch this video of me sitting here talking?"

"5...4...3...2..."

Agreeable Noises