Vice-principal Pillows

"I'm going through an identity crisis. The principal, vice-principal and all the teachers know me by my real name."

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"I guess it took a pandemic to make me realize school is better than trying to learn stuff online."

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

'When training my son, keep him totally ignorant. I'm grooming him to be VP in-charge-of -denials.'

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

'146 days of leadership without any negative press.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

'Al, this is Jack. He's with the Committee to Eliminate the Board of Education. Jack, this is Al. He's with the Committee to Increase Funding for the Board of Education.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."