Valentine's Day Celebration Pillows

'The good news is that I don't think it's contagious.'

"This year I wrote you a Valentine poem: Flowers are nice, candy divine, but what we really need is a bottle of wine!"

Ten out of ten for effort...

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

Happy Valentine's Day. Ernie took time to smell the roses and he noticed they were $50 per dozen.

Happy Valentine!

Why it's easier to fall in love with a fat bald guy,

Oh lovely, a Valentine Card: I wonder who it is from?

Falling in love with cakes

"It's VD-Day. Shall we engage in the traditional exchange of venereal disease?"

"Come on, admit it. I outdid myself this Valentine's Day."

Especially for YOU! - Free Valentine hugs.

Valentine's Day texting

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Shepherd and eurydice

'I sent out for everything.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Playing Fetch.

You're my Mona Lisa.

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

LAY ZEE FUK

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

'Do you think we can cuddle?'

Lesbian civil partnership.