Urban Planning Gifts

"So it's agreed then. There'll be no third runway, and you'll head the Fourth Runway steering group."

Department of Town Planning.

'Isn't it nice to see children walking to school?'

I want you to draw up plans for a city that can be built in a day.

"I see no problems. We can get lots more of these houses in.."

'On a clear day you can see the plush neo-classical offices of the bastards who designed these monstrosities.'

'Don't worry - all tall buildings sway a little in the wind.'

"The salesman said that this was the ideal car for life in the fast lane."

Man at council planning offices can't get through door due to position of steps.

New Planning Body in beauty spot - 'Nice spot for our HQ...'

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'A high-rise block of flats would give many people a chance to enjoy a rural life...'

Wind turbines seen as a blot on the landscape by motorists who don't notice the impact of the motorway.

"A new housing estate would give many people a chance to enjoy rural life."

'Rest of world full, do not enter.'

'Farnsworth, this isn't what I meant when I asked you to draft bridge plans.'

Urban Tsunami

'Hello, I'm the city tax appraiser and it has come to our attention that you have added a bird house to your yard.'

'I gotta knock 'em all down, but don't worry, we're going to name all the streets after trees.'

The Jeopardy of Progress

'Maybe we should have had a feasibility study for underground parking by the pier.'

Highway project

'Out of town supermarket - with town built around it.'

Town Planning Department

'Oh yes, you need specific credentials to be a town planner.'

'I'm a little surprised you got planning permission.'

"Somebody's screwed up...there's a bit of road here nobody's working on..."

An astronaut sees a sign saying zoning in force.

Moles examine settlement development project.

"We need to convince the planners that there is a bird colony here."

"Welcome to homogenizedville!"

'Just stop for a minute. Smell that pine scent. Drink in the view. I don't think we could pick a better site for our 'Mega-Mall'!'

Watching You.

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

"The only problem with town planning is having to account for people."