University Secretary T-Shirts

'I'm sorry, Professor Johnson is not picking up. I can put you through to the equally eccentric Professor Williams if you would like?'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

Copycats

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

Out and In.

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

Storm in the out tray

37 years in the same position.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Here and There Trays

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

"Morning, all!"

Someone who knows apostrophes

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Time for More Paperwork

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'