Two-wheeled Tinker Pillows

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you repaired it last time.'

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"First aid box, puncture repair kit, mobile phone, energy bars and plenty of liquids; I think that's all eventualities covered..."

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

"I'd like my daughter to know something about engines."

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

'My husband thought he could save money by repairing it himself.'

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

'It's a kit I found online. I converted the car so it runs entirely on chicken manure.'

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

Child praying - asks god to bless his family and the new motorbike he's bought with his father's credit card.

'Hi Terry. Quick question about that new gearbox you put in my Polo last week.'

Biker chopper shopper

'I can't come out to play, I have to help my owner work on his bike. Sometimes it sucks being a smart breed.'

"Do you realise you're getting addicted to brake fluid?" "Yes, but I can stop anytime."

"Don't be ridiculous. If the wheels were round, you'd never be able to stop."

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

Quantum Mechanics.

'I see you decided to build your own motorcycle. By the way, did you, by any chance, fail shop class in school?'

'I normally don't ride a dirt bike, but my motorcycle doesn't do well on potholes.'

"What an amazing view!"

Organ Transplant Service - "Rather ironic isn't it...we need a new pump."

'There's a lot of bugs in these parts, so I suggest you wear your helmet from here on out.'

"Uh...not to be bossy, but I wouldn't do it that way."

'Well! Well! Look what the cat dragged home!...'

DIY motor repairs.

"I've just got back the job description for your new assistant."

'I fixed the dent in the bumper.'

"Wait! Do you think the quick release bolts are a good idea?"

'The upside is that it will guarantee you get laid, the downside is that there's a four year wait.'

'Say, this is interesting.'

'Okay, now try it in the gear of 'D'.'

'I do wish you'd stop playing with the climate control Hazel!'

Frankenstein's Monster Auto Mechanic