Twin Vibes Pillows

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

"On second thoughts, I'll have it stirred, not shaken."

"He's been like that ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."

'T.S.I.F.'

"Who's there?"

Smiley Victory Fingers

"It's a wonderful story - starts with the murder of a butcher."

Greta Thunberg wins German TV prize...

Hipness Replacement Surgery.

"Sure makes a change from New York!"

"Suddenly the idea of becoming a vegetarian sounds very romantic."

"Ask her where she keeps the mailbox key and the nutmeg."

'Well, it's an easy job, but I should warn you: The boss is quite the charmer...'

Viking takes off his horned helmet and reveals that he actually has horns.

Swell who has called a police officer to pick up his umbrella rather than bend and disturb his collar

Visual Gag: A Palm reader reading the palm from someone elses hand with the aid of a battery powered night light

"I'll say one thing for you. You've got green fingers."

Vlad the Impaler - the Later Years

"My parents are extreme vegans. I'm not allowed to have a piggy bank."

"Without social media how would everyone know that I was vegan?"

"And I ain't seen the sunshine since, I don't know when..."

"Never marry a vegan. They're prone to tempeh tantrums."

"Well Sir, I can clean your den and remove all the bones: It's a win-win proposition!"