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"And now a word for people who can't sleep at night."

Herman Mankiewicz

The First Annual Game Show Week.

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

"You asked to see me, boss?" "Yes, Rudy. We have a serious problem here." "I'm going to need you to stop humming the 'Star Wars' theme 24/7." "Disney is notoriously litigious. If they catch wind that you're publicly performing the theme, they may sue the cafe for royalties." "Daaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh daaaaaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh... wait, what?" "If you cost me my livelihood, I'll do to you what Han did to that Tauntaun."

'This has been a Chris Wallace special report -- we now switch you back to Mike Wallace....'

'There are facts,there are factoids, and there are just plain fun facts.'

It's academic

Nicholas Parsons RIP

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

"I'll have a vole, please Carol"

"Shouldn't have bought a touch-screen TV."

'Before I met you, I didn't know any of the sitcom characters by their first names,'

'On tonight's news: Katie Couric interviews Katie Couric.'

'No! The bully in Tom Brown's Schooldays was called 'Flashman' not 'Paxman'.'

Pub quiz night. Man says 'Oh no, look who's in ..' Three Wise Men sit at adjacent table.

When TV networks hold pledge drives, you know the economy isn't in great shape.

'And who are your chosen subjects?'

"They're called leftovers, not 'reruns'."

Welsh countdown

'It's a smart TV - it only turns on for Mastermind.'

Cue-card holder auditions.

"Any idea what's on the TV?"

Sitcom News 'Hey, Marcia! Where's that darn news! I can't find it anywhere!'