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Mensans Behaving Badly

"I know what Ally McBeal would do."

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

After eighteen consecutive pharmaceutical commercials, Mitch learns that if he had a heart attack caused by a completely blocked artery, another heart attack could be lurking.

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Scotch with Mother.

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

'-not back with the same old corn are we?'

Nativity - The sitcom

"They don't call them reruns anymore...they call them deja-views."

"Thanks Dave. I don't know about you folks, but I can feel it coming in the air tonight."

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

"The X files...the tooth is out there"

"Your Honor, the witness, in my opinion, has failed to establish credibility."

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

'In the event of a new Gulf War, Letterman and Leno agreed to reduce their arsenal of middle eastern jokes and stockpile them for possible use later...'

Bunny TV.

"Last night we watched three movies back to back. I was the one facing the telly."

"All the world's a sitcom and we are but the uncredited extras."

"C-Span is our reality television."

Good Morning Britain has just achieved something previously thought impossible...by making Piers Morgan the most likeable man on screen.

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

Mind control

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

'I stopped watching Sesame Street the second I found out it was educational.'

Ostrich TV.

'If we lose the malpractice lawsuit, we can always sell it to the Bloopers Channel.'

'Ralph finally got the remote control to work - his way.'