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I heard that those disgusting cast members on that "Jersey Shore" reality show are now being paid $100,000. Per episode

Jo Brand.

'I knew it was a mistake for Parkie to come.'

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

Joan Hickson

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

A little bird told me...

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

Stephen Fry

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

Vanna White: The Later Years.

Giorgio A. Tsoukalos - Ancient Aliens

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

Will work for Food Network.

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

Celebrity Gavin Henson

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

The boy who cried Wolf Blitzer,

Stephen Fry

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

John Stride

'It's educational TV, Mom — the redheaded girl in the lime-green bikini has a teaching degree.'

Television guests' essentials in November.

Ian Hislop

Chris O'Dowd

"You notice all the books behind me...one of these days I'll get around to read one."