Tv Decor Aficionado Pillows

'I saw him on one of those home improvement shows. Doesn't he finish the room off nicely?'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Television Readers.

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Joan Hickson

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

Cat statues on entrance gate

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

TV jester.

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

Board Game Hunter

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

100 best beheadings

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"He's an indoor cat."