Tv Couch Potato Gifts

"Funding for 'Nova' is provided by Merck and Lockheed, by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, and by annual financial support from viewers like you."

'Dracula watches his first late night horror show.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Bowled over again!

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Love is when you watch television together.

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

'Och lye the news'

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"You are still here."

Tunnel of TV

"Would you get me a beer from the refrigerator? Just grab one of the cans on the top shelf. Come on, I do so much for you—all these years, the walks, the food, the chases... Come on! Never mind."

Succession 2

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"What happened to the thin crust guy I married?"