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"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

Turtle Trailer Court

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

"Well, if you didn't do anything in North Korea, then why do they keep launching missiles at us?"

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

'Grrrr....'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

Ike and Tina Turtle.

"All good Lucy, I've cleared the beach: you can safely go and lay your eggs now..."

"We haven't danced in ages."

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

'So, that's how squirrels find their buried food?'

Newborn bird sees tortoise and starts wearing shell.

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

'Face it, we're vegetarians because plants can't toddle away.'

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

Here is our spot, I sink, Helga.

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

Tortoises breakdancing

Honestly, I don't know why I even bring Harold to parties.

'I'm going to be a little late.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

'Look Mummy: I've put on my shell all by myself...'