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'I was thinking dinner, drinks, an airport security 'pat down' and then call it a night.'

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

"The good new is I found your dentures. The bad news is the dog has a new chew toy."

"They should've called me for the sketch instead. She's not even funny. What a complete bomb-ala."

"This is all so ARBITRARY!"

"Why is there a picture of an old man in the bathroom?"

Peter

Husband's sudden interest in Aquafit is all because of the sexy instructor.

'I'm still trying to decide if I should join the workforce or get my masters in staying.'

Tonight: Ballet featuring Ernie. I think we've just witnessed the pollution of Swan Lake.

"Attention, shoppers!! We have a senior lost in the produce section!. . ."

"The viewers seem to be sated with stupid shows, senseless movies and embarrassing celebs. That's why our black screen has got the best viewing figures!"

Senior Chat Rooms.

"Is doing the report completely in emojis considered plagiarism?"

A child offers an old man adult diapers in the grocery store.

"Let Halliburton clean it up."

Security Guards Escort Cupid Away

You didn't tell me it was iTheatre...

Summertime in Minnesota

"I'm old school. Instead of ranting on social media, I just scream in people's faces."

"Greetings, earthling. We used a complex algorithm to make sure we appeared to humankind in a form you would respect and trust."

'Did he actually win a 'Genius Grant' for his study 'Can money buy happiness'?'

Death stalks an old man

"Young farmers are ALWAYS finding something to moan about, but 18 hours days in all conditions never did me any harm!"

'Those flashers make no sense to me. The less they have, the more they want to show it.'

"Watch out Stan, we've got a tail-gater."

Help. After Amassing Huge College Debt, I had To Dumb Down My Resume To Get A Job.

“Hey You Get off of my cloud”