Trendsetter In Denial Pillows

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"Even the waiters here are organic."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Bad hair day!

La Table

'She's so put together!'

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

Men's business romper.

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

'I want you to paddle against the current.'

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Rap music

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

"Absolutely not!"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

A Macaroni in 1772

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

Keeping warm.

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

'What are the other nonconformists wearing this year?'