Travel Tipster Pillows

Excess Baggage: Getting a souvenir you never asked for is as bad as having to watch videos of someone's vacation.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

Unrest Area.

"So, then, I guess the Johnsons are feeding our clothes."

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.

'No sir, we're not boarding a flight. My teacher just needs to check my homework in my my dog Sam here, if it wouldn't be too much trouble.'

"I was sick - sick in Hawaii."

A magician sees his suitcase with swords in it on the luggage conveyor belt.

Excess Baggage: Forcing your homebody spouse to accompany you on a business trip is generally not a great idea.

"... But, Derek. The travel agent told us not to drink the water!"

Excess Baggage: Before you laugh at those senior citizen travel groups, just try and keep up with them.

"I hardly fly anymore. The emotional baggage fees were killing me."

'This one's called 'Towel stealer'. It's a guest beer.'

Tip responsibly

Frank and Ernest's tips for travelers. When traveling makes you congested ... call rheum service. Sniff.

Hubert deeply regretted his wish that his train would arrive on time.

'When you said this was a three star hotel, I didn't expect to see them through a hole in the roof!'

"According to one of the reviews on Trip Adviser the beds aren't very good."

"You can have my doggie bag as a tip."

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

'Before booking-is it Euros in Bognor?'

Airline Charges

The room you gave me was so small every time I bent over I rearranged the furniture.

Car driving on tube line - 'They'll do anything to avoid the new congestion charge.'

'The main thing I hate about these nonstop flights is that the work is also nonstop.'

Flyaway. How much did the tickets cost? Getting there is half the funds.

Cruise Missiles

Harry, I've just had a tip!

Education is very important!!

Hitchhiking tourists.

"Nope. Nothing to declare."

"Would you like the £40 room or the £60 room?"

Trilby - 'Vite! Vite! Un commissaire de police!'