Trauma Surgeon T-Shirts

"I love these environmentally conscious e-scooter drivers! They paid for my new suv!"

Traumatology.

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Ice Cream Surgeon

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

Haute Suture

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

Young Dr. Dolittle.

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

"Surgery up here is free!"

Meanwhile in Hollywood

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

Why can't you just chew the squeaker out like normal dogs?

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'