Train Commuter Gifts

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention for fifteen hours?"

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

Wife: 'Ah, honey.....why are you covered in raw fish and rice?' Husband: 'Oh I was running late for the 6:15 and got on a darn sush train by mistake!'

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

Packed like sardines

Commutobile

'Someone's got to do something about these pot-holes!'

Scarf puts hat back on.

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

"Yeah, it's me. I'm gonna be late for dinner."

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

"Excuse me, I think you'll find I've reserved that luggage rack space ..."

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

'I'm telling ya, it's a jungle out there.'

Monday: Next 7 exits.

Caution (arrow falling from sky sign)

Lenin, Anticipating His Arrival at Finland Station, Sees His Baggage Taken Off at Beloostrov.

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

'I beat the 5 o'clock rush... I leave work at noon!'

I hate sitting in traffic jams. - 'Move it! I need to get work.' - 'I hate sitting at my desk.' -

'Would you like a push Dear?'

Business Duck

A white collar cow.

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

No Cheap Fuel Ahead: Easy Street Ends.

"Everybody on the bus today was played by Anthony Hopkins."

Running Latte

'...but there MUST have been something about a rail go-slow on 'News at Ten'?'