Trail Talker Pillows

Wetlands Environmental Reserve - Sensitive Area - Please keep your comments to yourself.

Hither and Yon sign

'Don't worry about getting lost, folks. These trails are all well marked. . . if I do say so myself.'

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

Nature Lovers

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

'Y'know, this wouldn't keep happening if you learned to load your pack properly.'

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

"It's one mile as the crow flies, ten miles as the lost hiker bushwhacks."

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

Confusing directions.

Bear painting signs encouraging people to feed the animals.

"Hey. . . in use!"

Orienteering 101

'Trust me, the deer have been here. I see tracks everywhere... and look! Fresh droppings!'

Black Forest Collectibles.

Man talking to a tree.

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

Speed enforced by really slow walkers.

'It's the word MODERATE which scares me!'

'I got the idea from the parks department.'

"Quit complaining and decorate it! Number one, it's tradition, number two, it's nobody we know..."

"Sir! Wait! You forgot your pile of soiled trash on the airplane seat!"

Tourists

'Says here that if you meet a bear in the woods, never try to outrun it!'

"My GPS says we’re not even close to the trail … and it’s blaming you."

Deer with Crosscut Saw.

'Now I'm glad I sprained my ankle. The view from up here is beautiful.'

People at airport look at information board showing strike action and union membership cancelled.

Thank You For Not Interrupting My Endless Stream of Chatter.

"Can you see that beautiful patch of color just to the left of Gulf Island Pond, with all those marvelous loons? That’s where we passed a sports bar."

The Call of Nature