"I just worry that we won't be able to provide the same level of crap that our parents gave us."
Toy Critics Pillows
Add comfort and personality with pillows that reflect their love for thoughtful toy analysis—ideal for lounges, game rooms, or cozy corners.
'Nothing from China this year, okay?'
'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'
'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'
Director/Action Man toy.
Build your very own conflict of interest!
'Smith, we need more creativity. You have to learn to think outside the box.'
Polluted geese
"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."
"That'll be five bucks."
Playdough's The Republic
"Werewolves of London..."
Rocking Horse
Toy Shops and Educated Children
"Where the hell's my Slinky?"
Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company
"It's his emotional support animal."
"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."
Childlike love
"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"
"Graduation day at kite flying school."
One!
What can I play?
Jack in the box on strike.
"Are you happy with your current ball?"
"Guess who figured how to call 911!"
Typical bored kid of the New Millennium
"Mom! Dad! Do something!"
Remote Control Duck
Inaction Figure
"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"
Toys
Help me!
'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'
'...and, of course you get a company car.'
Toy Critics Pillows Collection
Toy Critics Mugs
Explore our collection of mugs designed for toy critics—bring humor and personality to their daily routine.
Toy Critics Prints
Discover prints that celebrate toy appreciation—brighten up rooms and showcase their playful critique culture.
Toy Critics T-Shirts
Check out our t-shirts for toy critics—wear your passion and sense of humor loud and proud.