Torah Stories Mugs

Haman as a child

Joshua as a kid

'Yes, all at once!'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Moses as a child.

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

"First, do no ham."

'Whoa! - The activist judges will go NUTS with these!'

Moses Parting the Red Tea

'You want us to cut WHAT off?'

"Okay, we get it - You're a social conservative!"

"When we get to the promised land I never want to even see a piece of mann again for as long as I live."

'The plan is that we wander in the desert until somebody recognizes our right to exist.'

Safer Torah

And Moses climbed the mountain, day and night, searching for some sort of sign from god when suddenly he saw it!

Manna Helper

Torah-nosaurus Rex

Moses Invents the Top 10 List: 'Whoa, whoa, whoa...trust me, that's waaaay too much information.'

"Still not sure why Moses wanted a flint knife, or what exactly circumcision is..."

Torah reading on the subway.

Benaiah questions the mighty men on who pushed him in the pit.

Samson Gets Off at Fourteen

'No, sorry, this isn't an oil tanker.'

'Why can't you rebel like a normal teenager?'

"Look, it's manna or nothing - No WAY He's going to give us ham sandwiches!"

'I liberate them from Egypt, give them manna, daily bread, milk AND honey, and the can't even keep ten lousy commandments!'

'I'll let your people go, but NO dual citizenship!'

"Well, you weren't my first choice either!"

King Solomon