Tool Time Tinkerer Prints

"Just going to do a spot of D.I.Y. dear!"

"Find it yourself!"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

The Computer Bore

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Painting the Ceiling

Drool Marks

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Tool Box

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Early cyborg.

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

The Not-So Smart Meter

Sale! Weed Whackers

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Gadget geek.

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"