Toilet Seat Warrior Pillows

If Women Ran Hell...

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

Girl in Yellow Jumper

Duel in a wheelchair.

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

Overdoing it.

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

Organic farm

Wheelchair Basketball

'It's good news - the car can be repaired'

Before the accident? John was a truck driver.

"Hey Rudy, you've been in there for over an hour. You OK in there?" "I think I'm dying here." "What? D'you need me to call 911?" "I don't think that'll help." "I just need to build more pikemen and cavalry and buy a defense boost before the enemy's march reaches my city." "Get off your phone!!!" "I'm saving a kingdom here! It's important!"

Physiotherapist tells Humpty Dumpty: 'OK, you've had a great fall, but we'll have you back on that wall in no time.'

'And remember, lady, down here the toilet seat stays up!'

"I. . . hate . . . bath day."

"Look at it this way -- in three years your roof could leak."

'The good news is that I managed to install the wind turbine...'

Shuffle Zone. Please shuffle and create static electricity to power our city.

"Look at you—folding the laundry two days before couples therapy."

The Nine Circles of Heaven

'Hey! Roll a mile in my shoes!'

"Well, you've fianlly done it! No more rainforest left!"

"We're never going to be able to give Moses a bath, are we?"

'Stupid global warming!'

"It's about time the training wheels came off!"

'I don't know how I got rid of mildew before Henry got me the flamethrower.'

"Dad, Dad, the termites have found our food stash!"

Heaven: Disabled Access

"It's god's little get-back.... She had special haloes made for those who never put down the toilet seat."

"I've reduced our carbon footprint and replaced all our bulbs with energy efficient low wattage ones."

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

"My mother would always get so angry whenever I spilled anything."

Complaints: 'Yes?'

A king in a wheelchair throne