Tiny Tool Trainer T-Shirts

'You hold the nail.I keep hitting my fingers.'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

The Hobby Store

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Tool Box

Painting the Ceiling

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"He's such a fussy eater."

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Sale! Weed Whackers

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Congratulations on your retirement!

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

Waiting for retirement.

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

'Swiss Army Rescue Service. How can we help?'

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

Three different categories of lawnmower.

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

Education and Apprenticeships

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

'Workmate' bench helping DIY man "Left a bit"

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

Thunk! Teddy! Pick them up! They're toxic to all living things! Ok. Ok. But you don't have to exaggerate. Regrettably � I'm not.