Time Management Trickster Pillows

"I'll tell you my secret for increasing productivity. That clock has been unplugged for half an hour."

"Almost Ready"

'Never put off till tomorrow something you can put off till the day after tomorrow...'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

Two plans - one long-term and one short-term.

"Planning, who's got time for planning... I don't even have time to get dressed in the morning."

"You always arrive late at the office." "But I make up for it by leaving early."

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"How flexible are we on the issue of flex time?"

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

'Don't be a clock watcher. Just do what the clock does. Keep on going.'

Today isn't a good day. He's talking to New York now, then he's got a board meeting, after that there's an old Betty Grable film on TV.

"You should be grateful your hours are such that you're able to work 3 jobs."

Cost Time A = Edit your strategy Bored Tired

"You've got pussyfooting from 10 to 11, shilly-shallying until 12, then hemming and hawing the rest of the afternoon."

The inventor of the clock realizes his mistake

"I didn't prioritize my day and now I'm stagnant."

"You're so consistently late that you're pretty much doing my job and docking your own hours."

Big Ben

Clock numbered 9 - 5 and Overtime

'Safe!'

Too early to begin working on/Too late to do anything about.

'I found a way to make dinner in half the time. I don't finish it.'

Work Life Balance Paperwork

'I told you an hour ago that I'll be ready in a minute.'

'Mary, I've got meetings all day so I'm going to be unable to have my scheduled happiness moment at 3:01. You have it for me, OK?'

"I told them I was sick of working all hours...and that I intended to stick to my hours and get home to give my son a bath and bedtime book....unfortunately he'd turned into a 26 year old commodities broker while I was in meetings!"

March madness

'...but I'm already working as slow as I can.'

If you are here, you'll be late for the meeting

"I can't remember - do I work at home or do I live at work?"