Thumb Drive Tossers Club Pillows

'I threw out two small thumb drives last night...and the beanstalk was there this morning.'

Snowmen Around The World...

Trout Game

"Suddenly I'm feeling paranoid about all the notes you're taking."

"In all my years of teaching I've never seen pizza dough spun into a triangle!"

'Your texting addiction sticks out like a sore thumb.'

'Wait! His toy mouse and his yummies!'

Miranda's husband accidentally discovers her secret garden.

The gods drink beer while Zeus throws a thunderbolt.

Tantrum sex.

I worry that your camp concentrates too much on soccer. I'm ok, mom. Really. Specializing is bad for your joints and muscles. Chill, mom. I'm cross-training. Oh. I have very well-conditioned thumbs.

'Cool! Thanks to our opposable thumbs, we can send SMS messages...'

A painter paints his thumb, not the nude model in front of him.

The Fireside Jungle: Indoor plants can do much to improve the visual appearance of your rooms...

Never criticise his creative efforts...

You stink at Halo 5. I have no thumbs!

Man with a trolley in hurry to get to Wall st

Throwing Away Music

'Sure, the thumbs are great -- but how come we don't have opposable toes?'

Hand hitch-hiking.

Miss Fenwick is caught carrying a concealed weapon: a hybrid tomato which, if thrown, is capable of maiming, even killing.

'Objection, deliberately misleading the witness.'

"OK, lad - bring along the murder weapon."

Can I join Tightwads United? If you can pass the test. In a dumpster behind a restaurant, you find a quarter tuna sandwich soiled with coffee grinds and stuck with tape. Gross. Am I in? Denied.

"Had it with your diet, dear?"

New Timeline

Opposable Thumbs

"They're specially designed to fly farther when thrown."

Tramp's Gas