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"You picked the wrong religion, period. I'm not going to argue about it."

"Welcome to the after-party."

'The news isn't all bad - At least the Deists are letting you off the hook.'

'I've had it with all you yes-men! -- I'm going to create something with free will!'

'Hey, don't look at me - I gave them FREE WILL.'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'I'm afraid this is all we have for the time being. We've run out of Haloes.'

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

"No, I didn't give them free will just to evade responsibility!"

'Remember how you put Cain and Abel on the honor system'

'Is there a God? God knows...'

"God loves us unconditionally, but only under certain conditions."

'Of course He never listens - He's OMNISCIENT!'

'I know I said I'd be eternally in your debt, Haskins, but that was before eternity.'

'That's the problem with Christian martyrs...the halos are so hard to digest.'

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

'He's built the ark...start the el ino project.'

Devil selling angel wings.

"Jesus changed the water into wine and everyone drove home responsibly."

Chad and Wally, the Apostles who sat the bench.

Dogma

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'It says here that in the End Times I will be doing all these terrible things... Do you think there'll be a crisis if I refuse?'

"God works in mysterious ways."

'Sometimes I scare myself when I realize that I always was and always will be.'

Moses refuses to obey God's commandments.

"Can Billy come outside and play God?"

"If Jesus had actually been born white in the Middle-East - that would have been the miracle."

"Ha, Ha, a fallen angel."

"Wow!...really...all seven deadly sins?"

Dogma

Tiddles completes his doctorate.

SUNDAY SCHOOL, 'We're supposed to love our enemies? -- Is this some sort of ZEN thing?'

Repent

"And this time--no ark!"