Theme Park Fanatic T-Shirts

'Have you ever gotten a song stuck in your head that you couldn't get rid of? Don't you hate that?'

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

Hay Rides $10

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

You must be this tall.

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

"The lakes are getting more like a theme park."

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

Wild Weather Ride - 2005.

"Look—you can't say we don't give them fair warning!"

Tunnel of TV

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

The ride with the shortest lines at disneyworld...

'...Please stop the...'

'Who ever came up with the idea that throwing up is fun?'

Tunnel of Whale Guts

Log Ride

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

Riding the Rollercoaster.

Giraffe Rollercoaster

Children sitting in bumper cars playing on their cellphones.

"Now this is a dog park!"

Funnel of Love.

"Why are we eating all this fattening stuff? Pier pressure."

Tunnel of like.

The Big Game Park

"Well, there's never going to be a perfect time to start a family."

Cliche Amusement Park. This park is no fun at all --- It's too much like real life! Look, that ride is called "The Emotional Roller Coaster." Over there is "Life's Ups and Downs"! ... and "The Mood Swings"! Look! The good old "Tunnel of Love"! Finally! A ride that's just a fun escape! Out of ardor. "Out of ardor" --- More real life. (Published originally Sept. 4, 2005.)

Man ready to throw water over people in the Tunnel of Love.

Stock Market Roller-coaster.

Summer Outing Planning

Mine Shaft of Love.

"I knew something didn't sound right!"