The Humor Lover T-Shirts

"Oooh, I know what I want to be when I grow up: Retired!"

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Bond James, Bond."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Larry's used art

Showbiz Awards

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

Grace For Flies

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Director/Action Man toy.

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Why do they do that?"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'