The Cautious Patient T-Shirts

'It's just a routine operation, Mr. Bush. No need to have your lawyer present.'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

'Harvey does all his own 'get well' cards.'

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

'Where'd he go, nurse?'

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

Rule #1. Of what? HYPOCHONDRIACS HANDBOOK. A little passion project I'm working on; or, rather, I would be working on. I can't write or type wearing my protective anti-flu gear. Rule #1: Get some loser to take dictation for you. I hate where this is heading.

'Do you offer transcend dental medication?'

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

"We have adult teeth now, and, as such, they demand adult pain."

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

"Looks very promising. Put us down for one half of one share."

At Travel Agent - "We're interested in a no-diarrhea itinery."

Mortified that her hospital gown did not close all the way in the back...

"...The sun sank slowly in the west. Time slowed down to a crawl, and there was no reason to hurry. The tortoise knew he had time to kill. Haste makes waste, he thought..."

'I've got it in pill form, but for really fast relief from panic attacks...'

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

"This is going to be a little invasive."

'Hmmm, this is too good to be true: I can smell a rat...'

Chess players covered in cobwebs

'It's hard to have confidence in a doctor whose office plants don't look very healthy.'

Height barrier accident.

Half a loaf is better than none..

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten out genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

Some patients may want to know more than others.

"So tell me doc, what's new and exciting in pharmacology these days?".

'Mom says if you're going to buy anything online,I'm supposed to make sure it's a secure site.'

'Come on, I know you're in there.'

Drink Driving