Thanksgiving Thinker Mugs

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

'I put that the pilgrims ate Butterball Turkey, Stove Top Stuffing, and Mrs. Smith's Pie. Think she'll give extra credit for brand names?'

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"This might take awhile, Lord."

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

Plymouth Rock

'The environment people only worry about endangered species, not endangered individuals.'

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

Beauty and the Baste

"Fulfilling others on Thanksgiving is pretty good advice, wouldn't you say?"

"It'll never be ready in time."

Turkey Autopsy

"Never say you're stuffed!"

Thanksgiving Feast. Get lots of turkey, but not too much of you'll have to take a pause at the nap box. I'm skipping the cranberries and going for the green beans and the potatoes. I'm at the stuffing now and getting bonus points for extra gravy! Hey! There's a shortcut through the corn, straight to the pumpkin pie! I win! Not so fast. You missed the most important spot where you give thanks for your family and friends. Oh, you're right. It's okay that I didn't win. I'll get you tomor

A sardine can combined with a cornucopia.

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

'Thank you for the turkey, thank you for the dressing, and thank you for the squash, which Mother cleverly refers to as pumpkin pie.'

'Leave it to the school system to turn an enjoyable meal into an historical event.'

A football player catching a turkey

I used my first draft pick on the turkey leg. It's a proven point-getter! I drafted potatoes. They're not flashy but they are a reliable performer! I'll trade my cranberry sauce for you pie. It's a win-win trade that will benefit us both! No trades -- This pie will score a lot of points for me later! Why are they talking about this wonderful meal like it's fantasy football? It's not a game with winners and losers here. You're absolutely right! Just being here together sharing this meal,

Lesser Known Historical Figures: The Steno at the First Thanksgiving Dinner.

Gramps shows the kids HIS favorite stuffed animal.

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'

'Turkey's okay, but most of the trimmings are vegetables.'

"God, I hate theme dinners."

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

"What the ... they've scheduled my surgery for Thanksgiving."