Thanksgiving Satire Lover Mugs

'Spuds were watery. And where's my damn dessert?'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"I'm stuffed. But in a good way."

Turkey Autopsy

"Never say you're stuffed!"

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

'Frivolity -- What art thou in for?'

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

Hi again

'You broke your wishbone. I'd suggest making a wish.'

'We've got to stop him watching Robert Peston.'

"A reading from the ax of the apostles."

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

"You're really serious about that diet!"

'It's going great, hon. I'm just about to stuff the turkey.'

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

"Put it on pause, son, and come to Thanksgiving dinner."

"For me it's all about the craft of acting."

"Separate checks, please."

The Ultimate Reality TV Show: Apathy Island

"Bad news - your DNA was delicious."

And then I said, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." So he said "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." Of course, I had to say, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." It happens every year -0 the turkey never fails to put him to sleep!"

"And these are from Warhol's lesser known 'Thanksgiving' series."

Analysts have said the US and Russia are closer to nuclear war than ever. The outcome of the election tomorrow will probably determine whether we live in mediocrity … or whether we suffer a nuclear apocalypse in which a crafty café owner, who's squirreled away scones and ammunition in a vast network of underground bunkers, could rise to become feudal warlord of a brand new world. So ... who are you voting for again? The person I've been preparing ever since 2nd grade to vote for.

Rudolph Red Light District

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

'I don't like this!'

Santa narrowly avoids discrimination suit

'Stop DRESSING me with your eyes!'

'Maybe it's one of those super-stations.'